Hanoi Again

We return to Hanoi for the last time. There is something reassuring about heading back into a rather hectic city, but knowing the ropes to a certain extent. At the bus station we grab a taxi, but refuse the driver's suggested fare and come to a reasonable compromise. As we drive up familiar streets back to the hotel we have been using, we notice the little changes that a week away can bring. A newly opened shop here, a missing street vendor there. The hotel staff greet us with "welcome home".

Whilst in the area, it would be rude not to pay a visit to see Hồ Chí Minh, who lies resplendently in state in the imaginatively named Hồ Chí Minh Mausoleum. It's free to enter, but as is common with these things, there is a lot of pomp and ritual (read pointless bureaucracy) you have to follow. Check your bags here, no hats, knees must be covered, walk two abreast, no speaking or stopping. After queueing up for a while to give way to parties of visiting dignitaries, we were allowed to go inside. The old chap is looking pretty good considering he died in 1969! Perhaps that's something to do with his annual trip to Russia where he goes for a buff up and a moisturise. Uncle Ho as they call him (demonstrating an incongruous lack of respect) lies bathed in a gentle yellow glow as we are manhandled around the tomb by jumped up 12 year old boys in white military uniforms. There are no pictures here as we had to leave the camera in the special "leaving the camera" office - which is fair enough.

Apparently, the Ho-ster actually wanted to be cremated, but what's an individual's wishes against rampant idolatry? Plus, the Russians built the mausoleum, so it would be rude to leave it empty. You can tell that it was built by the Russians as it looks like a soviet office block and you can also tell that the nearby Presidential Palace of Vietnam was not. The latter was built between 1900 and 1906 to house the French Governor-General of Indochina and is an amazing yellow construction that puts the mausoleum to shame - not that we would ever voice such a thought.

In addition to the stiff, there is a large park where HCM used to live. You are supposed to be able to explore the park but, in reality, there is a strictly prescribed route to follow delineated by hundreds of signs saying "Do not go this way", like some de-constructionist comment on the whole communism thing! We learned that Uncle Ho likes goldfish and that he used to live in a house on stilts and drive around in cars given to him by the Russians. There is a gift shop near the exit - small inflatable Ho anyone?

Perfumed Pagoda

On our last full day in Hanoi, we paid to go on an organised tour! This involved a two hour drive down south to visit the so-called Perfumed Pagoda. In common with all organised tours, it also involved an hour's drive around the city first thing in the morning trying to find all the people who had booked on the trip. After this and a two hour bus journey, we got on a small boat and had a woman row us (backwards) for an hour to the base of the pagoda mountain.

The Perfumed Pagoda is neither perfumed nor a pagoda. It is a complex set on the side of a mountain with the main area being inside in a cave. Apparently, the Vietnamese call anything that is a shrine to Buddha a pagoda, whereas we reserve that term for a specific type of building.

We took a cable car (made in Austria) up to the top of the mountain and then, having viewed the cave pagoda, we walked back down. Sadly, the entire route down was lined with shops selling votive offerings and Pepsi and these obscured any view there might otherwise have been.

North Vietnam Roundup

The weather up north is turning colder, so now we leave Northern Vietnam for some time in Cambodia. Later we will return to the south of the country, but we felt it was worth trying to summarise some of the things we have learned about the country and its people during our short time here.

We have found the people to be friendly and very pleasant to a man. Perhaps, occasionally in the depths of the northern countryside we saw some guarded glances, but that's the north for you. We have been helped along the way by any number of people despite an impenetrable language barrier. True, many Vietnamese speak some English, particularly in the tourist trade, but even those who don't are willing to try and help. We had heard that we might be targets for all sorts of scams but, compared to many other countries, this simply has not been the case. True there has been the odd pricing "mistake" but this is quickly rectified when challenged - just a bit of over zealous opportunism really!

Everything has been entirely good natured. We learned that, to the Vietnamese, to lose one's temper or to get angry is a sign of descent into madness so it simply doesn't happen. This has to be advantageous when you are a gringo going round infuriating people with your ignorance at every turn. Certainly it makes for a very relaxed experience for us.

All the food we have had has been jolly splendid. There's a healthy dose of chilli if you require it and all the ingredients seem to be fresh (except for the occasional tendency to fry up instant noodles). Testament to the quality of the food is the fact that we have not yet had any cravings for western dishes. The only thing lacking is much in the way of crunchy veg. Everything is cooked and much of it is fried. Not the most healthy diet, but it is certainly tasty. If we end up missing anything, it will be salad.

We have tried a couple of the local brews including the corn liquor (in Bac Ha) and rice wine (in Cat Ba). The latter seems to be made by steeping boiled rice in vodka for a few days and then straining. The resulting taste is somewhat reminiscent of... well, vodka really. We have eaten at the local Bia Hoi joints where the daily, fresh brew is dispensed from a large barrel by a lad with his thumb over the end of a pipe. A typical accompaniment to this give-away beverage (20p a glass) is pork spare ribs, which is nice. Also on the beverage front, Vietnam is reputed to be a major coffee producer and, whilst it is true that there is a coffee shop on every corner, the muck they churn out is barely drinkable. We have learned to avoid so called Vietnamese coffee and to look for Arabica or Italian. When we do find real coffee, it is invariably made very weak, quite cold or both. As if to compound the blasphemy, there is a disturbing tendency to add condensed milk to it too.

As we mentioned, they must have the slowest buses in the world up here. Whilst there is a huge number of mopeds and scooters on the road, everyone seems quite sedate. Unlike in India, the vehicles here are properly silenced and the blowing of horns is reserved for legitimate purposes. The result is that, even Hanoi is an oasis of sanity and tranquility compared with even the smallest Indian town. We did meet an American from Minnesota who was on his first trip abroad who commented on how frenetic and noisy Hanoi was. Wait until he gets to Bangkok! There is a technique for crossing the busy roads here which involves picking a direction and walking speed and then sticking to it. The traffic will find its way around you. The key really is to not make any sudden, unpredictable manoeuvres.

Construction is rife here but, rather than hammering, angle grinding is the order of the day. It's hard to criticise a people for progressing and they do cease at a respectable hour so it's not too bad. This is more than compensated for by the fact that the streets are, in general, calm and relatively quiet. We noticed that most of the buildings are extremely narrow, but go back a long way and often also up a long way. This is due to the way that land is taxed which is based on the linear footage facing the road. Hence, the narrower your property, the cheaper it is.

We have mentioned the loudspeakers and the early morning voices and the fact that they are attributed to "the government". We have also witnessed the internet being turned off for a day or so and also, one morning, we awoke to no power. Unlike in India where this was a common, random occurrence due to crumbling infrastructure, here the cause is always "the government". It is unclear whether there is any communication to the people in advance of these state-imposed inconveniences (perhaps that's what the disembodied voices are going on about) or whether it just happens. It is also unclear whether it always is actually the government or whether this is just a turn of phrase.

In summary, we spent our last night in Hanoi in a local restaurant we have visited a few times. We had chicken fried in ginger with steamed rice and spring rolls, all washed down with a couple of Hanoi beers. We got chatting with a French chap and a bloke from China who had virtually no English. The restaurant staff joined in and we were given rice liquor steeped in ginseng which was very potent. The chap who brewed the rocket fuel joined in and the girls from the kitchen came out to join in the hilarity and to watch the Vietnamese version of Master Chef showing on the restaurant TV. Much fun was had by all and this really summed up our experience here. We have agreed that Hanoi is the best city we have visited anywhere in Asia - mainly due to the friendly, relaxed nature of the people.

We move on from the rapidly cooling and largely empty Vietnamese north to the sweltering middle of Cambodia where it is currently peak visitor season. Find out how this pans out in the next installment.